So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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