Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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