your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
