Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
