yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
