mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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