found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
