Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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