drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize