i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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