oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
