we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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