your parents love me but you hate me
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
