I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
