At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
