i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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