bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
