Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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