sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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