The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
