3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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