New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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