I wish I could teleport
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize