Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
