Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
