Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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