best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
