Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
