I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
