yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
