somebody snuck up and got me drunk
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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