honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize