woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
