Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
