Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
