Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
should my penis look like a turkey
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
