Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
