And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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