Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
