Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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