Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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