some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
