sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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