I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
