Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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