I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
