I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
