Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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