I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
