How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
