My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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