Your favorite bartender is back from prision
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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