physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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