I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
