we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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