ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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