Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I booty called her while she was in labor.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
