i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
