So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Randomize
