At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize