she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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