if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Are we still banned from the library?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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