Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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