I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
