just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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