then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
