I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
