I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
