Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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