Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
