So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
