Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
