you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
