I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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