so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
