erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
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