i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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