Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She's the barista slut.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
