real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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